diff --git a/bun.lockb b/bun.lockb
index 670577f..9da7931 100755
Binary files a/bun.lockb and b/bun.lockb differ
diff --git a/globals.d.ts b/globals.d.ts
index 857af7f..0fd6b45 100644
--- a/globals.d.ts
+++ b/globals.d.ts
@@ -3,5 +3,27 @@ declare module "bun" {
     DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN: string;
     BUN_ONLY_CHANNEL_ID: string;
     MESSAGE_PREFIX: string;
+    WOLFRAM_ALPHA: string;
+  }
+}
+
+declare module "@wolfram-alpha/wolfram-alpha-api" {
+  export default function WolframAlphaAPI(appId: string): WolframAPI;
+
+  interface WolframAPI {
+    getFull(input: string): Promise<WolframResponse>;
+  }
+
+  interface WolframResponse {
+    pods: WolframPod[];
+  }
+
+  interface WolframPod {
+    id: string;
+    subpods: WolframSubpod[];
+  }
+
+  interface WolframSubpod {
+    plaintext: string;
   }
 }
diff --git a/package.json b/package.json
index 6ceaf47..f348d58 100644
--- a/package.json
+++ b/package.json
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@
     "@lilybird/jsx": "0.2.0",
     "@lilybird/transformers": "^0.2.0",
     "@paperdave/logger": "^3.0.1",
+    "@wolfram-alpha/wolfram-alpha-api": "^23.1004.144821-RELEASE",
     "algoliasearch": "^4.23.2",
     "bun-tracestrings": "github:oven-sh/bun.report",
     "gray-matter": "^4.0.3",
diff --git a/src/commands/ping.tsx b/src/commands/ping.tsx
index 7bcdc0a..b6db28e 100644
--- a/src/commands/ping.tsx
+++ b/src/commands/ping.tsx
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 import { ApplicationCommand as JSXApplicationCommand } from "@lilybird/jsx";
 import { ApplicationCommand } from "@lilybird/handlers";
+import { wolframApiClient } from "../constants.ts";
 
 export default {
   post: "GLOBAL",
@@ -9,8 +10,60 @@ export default {
 
     const { ws, rest } = await interaction.client.ping();
 
+    const wsClosedForm = await possibleClosedForm(ws);
+    const restClosedForm = await possibleClosedForm(rest);
+
     await interaction.editReply({
-      content: `🏓 WebSocket: \`${ws}ms\` | Rest: \`${rest}ms\``,
+      content: [
+        `🏓`,
+        `WebSocket: \`${wsClosedForm} ms\``,
+        `Rest: \`${restClosedForm} ms\``,
+        `||(\`${ws} ms\`, \`${rest} ms\`)||`,
+      ].join("\n"),
     });
   },
 } satisfies ApplicationCommand;
+
+async function possibleClosedForm(
+  value: number | string
+): Promise<string | number> {
+  try {
+    const res = await wolframApiClient.getFull(value.toString());
+    const pod = res?.pods?.find((p) => p.id === "PossibleClosedForm");
+    if (!pod) {
+      return value;
+    }
+
+    pod.subpods.sort((a, b) => {
+      if (
+        a.plaintext.includes("log") ||
+        a.plaintext.includes("e") ||
+        a.plaintext.includes("π")
+      ) {
+        return -1;
+      }
+
+      if (
+        b.plaintext.includes("log") ||
+        b.plaintext.includes("e") ||
+        b.plaintext.includes("π")
+      ) {
+        return 1;
+      }
+
+      return Math.random() - 0.5;
+    });
+
+    const randomSubpod = pod.subpods[0];
+
+    const text = randomSubpod.plaintext;
+
+    if (text.includes("=") && !text.includes("near") && !text.includes("≈")) {
+      return text.split("=")[0].trim();
+    }
+
+    return randomSubpod.plaintext.split("≈")[0].trim();
+  } catch {
+    return value;
+  }
+}
diff --git a/src/constants.ts b/src/constants.ts
index b71eed9..e835042 100644
--- a/src/constants.ts
+++ b/src/constants.ts
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
-import { spawnSync } from "bun";
+import WolframAlphaAPI from "@wolfram-alpha/wolfram-alpha-api";
 import { dependencies } from "../package.json";
 import { sliceIfStartsWith } from "./util.ts";
+import { spawnSync } from "bun";
 
 export const COMMIT_HASH = spawnSync({
   cmd: ["git", "log", "--pretty=format:%h", "-n", "1"],
@@ -50,3 +51,5 @@ export const BUN_EMOJIS = [
 
 export const MDN_API = "https://developer.mozilla.org";
 export const MDN_DISCORD_EMOJI = "mdn:1236028636826566758";
+
+export const wolframApiClient = WolframAlphaAPI(process.env.WOLFRAM_ALPHA);
diff --git a/src/message-commands/ping.ts b/src/message-commands/ping.ts
index 1cafb5a..7225372 100644
--- a/src/message-commands/ping.ts
+++ b/src/message-commands/ping.ts
@@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
 import { MessageCommand } from "@lilybird/handlers";
+import { wolframApiClient } from "../constants.ts";
 
 export default {
   name: "ping",
@@ -9,8 +10,60 @@ export default {
 
     const { ws, rest } = await message.client.ping();
 
+    const wsClosedForm = await possibleClosedForm(ws);
+    const restClosedForm = await possibleClosedForm(rest);
+
     await newMessage.edit({
-      content: `🏓 WebSocket: \`${ws}ms\` | Rest: \`${rest}ms\``,
+      content: [
+        `🏓`,
+        `WebSocket: \`${wsClosedForm} ms\``,
+        `Rest: \`${restClosedForm} ms\``,
+        `||(\`${ws} ms\`, \`${rest} ms\`)||`,
+      ].join("\n"),
     });
   },
 } satisfies MessageCommand;
+
+async function possibleClosedForm(
+  value: number | string
+): Promise<string | number> {
+  try {
+    const res = await wolframApiClient.getFull(value.toString());
+    const pod = res?.pods?.find((p) => p.id === "PossibleClosedForm");
+    if (!pod) {
+      return value;
+    }
+
+    pod.subpods.sort((a, b) => {
+      if (
+        a.plaintext.includes("log") ||
+        a.plaintext.includes("e") ||
+        a.plaintext.includes("π")
+      ) {
+        return -1;
+      }
+
+      if (
+        b.plaintext.includes("log") ||
+        b.plaintext.includes("e") ||
+        b.plaintext.includes("π")
+      ) {
+        return 1;
+      }
+
+      return Math.random() - 0.5;
+    });
+
+    const randomSubpod = pod.subpods[0];
+
+    const text = randomSubpod.plaintext;
+
+    if (text.includes("=") && !text.includes("near") && !text.includes("≈")) {
+      return text.split("=")[0].trim();
+    }
+
+    return randomSubpod.plaintext.split("≈")[0].trim();
+  } catch {
+    return value;
+  }
+}